40 the new 30???

If 40 is the new 30 then why the hell am I suddenly falling apart??

No one ever said we came with a guarantee or warranty, where would you go to get a refund or an exchange?? Your momma?? I can see it now…

ME: "Momma, there seems to be something wrong with my boobs they are sagging bad. My hair is falling out. My skin is terrible. My bones hurt. Do you still have the warranty papers?"

MOMMA: "Nope. I'm sorry but when they cut the umbilical cord that voided all warranties and guarantees!"

Just my dang luck. I always seem a day late and a dollar short! Never an umbrella on a rainy day. Always a day late for a good sale!

In the magazines they all say that brown is the new black and 40 is the new 30. I remember thinking that 40 was old! Now that I'm well into my 40s its not as old as I once thought. Let me state right here, before I get too tall on my soap box, that all in all I do love being this age! My 30s were wonderful… I had a new baby to love and watch grow. I got to see the world through his eyes. I got to explore places and things like never before. My life outside of being a mom was becoming a mess but I didn't notice. By the time I was ready to leave my 30s I took control of my life again and got most things back in order that had gotten out of control while I concentrated on being the best mom I knew how to be.

Now onto my soap box I jump….

I was never a girly girl. I come from a long line of hard working women. Not your typical June Cleaver's but naturally beautiful women all the same. Just plain Jane country gals who believed in wearing dresses to church, complete with girdle and hose. About the only make up was lipstick. I don't remember any other beauty lotion other than Oil of Olay and the occasional jar of cold cream. They were all blessed with good genes because they all looked younger than their true ages.

I knew that when women got older they got wrinkles and gray (or blue or pink) hair. My Maw (grandmother) even told me about the stray hairs women got on their chins. I knew that with age came hot flashes and irritability. I even knew there was some positives to getting older like no more periods and less hair on your legs to shave. WOOHOO!!

I have been battling gray hair since my mid 20s so that doesn't really bother me. As long as they make hair dye and my beautician never gossips no one will know just how gray I really am.

I try to remind myself that my aunt says wrinkles around the eyes are caused from smiling… not from squinting your eyes to read something that your arms can't get far enough away to read clearly.

What I wish someone had told me was... That there is a chance you will have more acne than when you were a teenager. That arthritis really does hurt. That it really is important to do those kegel exercises so that when you get old you can cough, sneeze and laugh without wetting yourself. That you can do the dainty lean so that its not as obvious as crossing your legs!! Age spots…enough said. That there is a reason old folks creak and groan.

I do realize that I may NEVER have the body I had when I was in my 20s. That I do have to take better care of myself now than I have in the past. That I am blessed to be able to wake up every morning and get out of bed on my own accord. There are some things I can change and others I can't. I do hope to look back on my 40s and realize it wasn't so bad after all.

OK so I am learning to adjust to this getting old mess, but I tell you one thing for sure….
"I don't like it one damn bit!!"