Today, as I was standing outside staining the boards that will soon become my new pergola, I began reflecting back on my morning and some of the things I had read on my face book page. On there is a quiz about me. Ten little simple questions with multiple choice answers. Well it seems no one, not even my son, has gotten the questions right. The last question is the one everyone misses. The question asked if I was at a party what would I most likely be doing. Everyone choose dancing. The answer I choose was cleaning. This got me to thinking... am I truly the person everyone seems to think I am?
Many years ago, I was quite the little social butterfly. My weeks were filled with work and friends. My weekends also revolved around work, dances and get-togethers with family or friends. Seems every weekend there was a benefit dance or someone would have a big blow out at their home with live music. I would dance enough in one weekend to burn a weeks worth of calories and managed to stay skinny.
Nowadays, I no longer see myself as the social butterfly. I see myself as a mom, wife and business owner. I see myself as a tired old lady. Work doesn't require nice groomed hair, make up and nice clothes... no no. You will usually find me in baggy t-shirts, shorts, flip flops and hair twisted up. (even in winter) If I should happen to wear make up one day it often brings on the third degree. No, the men in my life aren't happy with the simple answer of "I wanted to feel pretty today."
So I while I was doing my staining and self discovery today I got to thinking... why should I not want to feel pretty everyday? Why not put on mascara and lipstick everyday? Why not wear my best perfume everyday? Why not wear my pretty little CZ stud earrings everyday? Why should I always sit at home and become the old woman with the old man? Why not rekindle some old friendships and have a girls night out once or twice a month? Why not meet some girlfriends at the movies to watch sappy ole chick flicks?
Would this make me any less of a mother or wife? NO
Could I do this without feeling guilty? Maybe
We will find out this coming Tuesday... going to my first girls night out. I'm excited and looking forward to seeing an old friend and meeting new ones. Will I dance? Probably not but for a couple of hours I not be the tired old lady. I will not be the cleaning lady. I will be happy, alive and looking pretty!!
Exits stage left... singing Reflection (Mulan)
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight
Back at me?
Why is my reflection someone
I don't know?
Somehow I cannot hide
Who I am
Though I've tried
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
