Sunday, February 3, 2013

facing demons and overcoming obstacles

Saw this today and it really hit home... "There is NO obstacle BIG ENOUGH to keep you from reaching your goals if you only CHOOSE TO and STICK WITH IT!!!!"  We all have obstacles that we face everyday that hold us back from being free, from reaching our goals even from being happy.

So with that being said... I have chosen this year to face my obstacles/demons/skeletons. It has been a scary, painful journey so far. I have been relying on my faith to take each step. I have been told that I am am the strongest person people know, but I know in realty I am not. I have always been afraid of what people would think of me if they knew the "secrets" I held deep inside. "Secrets" that not even my family, closest friends or even theHUBs may know. This weekend I revealed to theHUBs and a couple of other people two secrets (feelings actually) that I held deep inside and although I was embarrassed to admit them, giving voice to them is forcing me to truly face them, examine them in order to release them.

I am tired. I am physically and mentally tired of carrying around the burden and weight of my baggage. I can't do it anymore. I am tired of being afraid of someone discovering my secrets. I am tired of hiding from my demons. I am tired of being held hostage by my fears.  I am tired of putting on a front and faking a smile. I am tired of being two people... the one everyone sees and the real me.

I want to be FREE. I want to be truly HAPPY. I know what I have to do to get there and I CHOOSE to make the changes necessary in order to reach my goals. I also know that on this journey there will be many tears, many moments of being scared and embarrassment and many of moments of self doubt. I know that a few relationships may be lost along the way but I am hoping that a few will grow too.  I know that this journey will not be easy but in the end it will be worth it. But the most important thing I know is that God loves me and with Him first and foremost in my life, all things are possible. I know that He will walk this journey with me, even carry me when I need it.

SO here is to facing the fear of ADMITTING I have obstacles and am not as strong as I appear and to KNOWING I have a plan and I am not walking this journey alone!!