What else is there to do at 5:45am??

The other day I had received an inspiring text message from a friend, not having much spare time then to forward it on I decided to wait. I finally found time at 5:45 this morning. Hey I was already awake since my vacationing son forgot that NC was an hour ahead of us when he called.

Back to the text message, it was one of those that reminds us to love the people who treat us right and forget the ones who don't. That friends can be like balloons once you let go you can't get them back. To contact family and friends and let them know you care. So forth and so on...

Imagine my surprise when I immediately got 2 responses. Who the heck is up that early anyways, besides my husband and the cats?? One response was from my 10 yr old cousin who is an early riser but not that early. The other was in form of a phone call from an old friend who didn't recognize the phone number. It was a funny conversation because I could tell he was caught completely off guard. He was not expecting a long lost friend he hadn't seen in at least 4 yrs to suddenly send him a text out of the clear blue. It was a good quick catching up call.

Often times in this fast pace life we live, we forget to stay in contact with those who mean the most to us. That was the whole point in that text message. Granted maybe not at 5:45 am but hey what a way to start the day!!!

Fighting the fight

Sometimes in life we are often faced with situations that seem to hit us all at once. Sometimes its like you wake up one morning and realize your life is completely different. You are sitting there wondering 'What the hell happened? How did things get this way?' Sometimes a situation will be thrown at us that we are not prepared for and knock the wind completely out of our sails.

It is those situations that can often make or break a person. How you handle then is up to you. You can choose to ignore them and go on. You can choose to pull the covers over your head and wallow in self pity. But yet a brave few will decide to put on their fighting armour and face their demons head on. They know its a make or break fight and they chose to not go down without a gallant fight. Sometimes they start out alone in their fight and sometimes they have to call in the troops for help. Either way they fight the fight... win, lose or draw... they give it their all.

It is at the end of their battle, they mend their wounds and survey the damage. They once again will find themselves at another crossroads in their lives. Which path do they choose now. One path will lead down a road of endless twist and curves with no real destination in life. The other road will lead to true life long happiness. There are no guarantees that the road is smoothly paved, but the journey will be worth it.

God promises us that with Him all things are possible and that if we believe in Him and trust in Him, He will never fail us. We win our toughest battles when we put on the armour of God and let Him lead the way.

May the situations you face in your life be few and far between. But if tough ones come along, remember... be brave and put on your Godly armour!

When someone you love is hurting...

What do you do when someone you love is hurting so bad and there is nothing you can you to ease their pain?

What do you do when no earthly advise will surfice?

What do you do when they look at you with tear filled eyes and a breaking heart?

What you do is offer a listening ear, a strong shoulder for crying, and a warm hug. You also tell them that you love them no matter what!!

OH and you also say a prayer of thanks to God for sending them good friends to be help when you cant.

Teenagers

Being a teenager is hard. Being the mom of a teenager is even harder.

As a teenager, growing up in rural Mississippi in the late 70s and early 80s, life was easy and uncomplicated. Life was carefree. Being in the country, there wasn't a whole lot to do. We had to create our own fun. We were able to stay outside with acres and acres to explore and play on. We all had chores and would help the others with their chores so the rest of the day was ours. The only real danger was falling out of trees and maybe a snake or two. We would walk miles along the side of the road to collect returnable bottles for change so we could buy a cold root beer on a hot summer day. As children and teens, we stayed busy. There was no laying around watching TV.

Today living in the big city, life for teens is not easy and is complicated. Its not the carefree times it use to be. With both parents working, kids stay home alone more often than not. Lots of idle time. Told to stay inside where they are safe, because it is not longer safe to play outside for fear of someone harming them.

But are they really safe? Are you really protecting them? Are you really shielding them from all dangers in the world? Those questions can have dual answers. Unfortunately, for some the answer is no. No matter how hard you try to protect them some times the ones you pray you can trust are the very ones who will lead your precious babies astray. Lots of peer pressure.

I have heard all my life kids will be kids and boys will be boys. As a parent, you want your children to grow, explore and experience life. You want the best for them. You want them to be the best they can be. You want them to be successful in school and in life. You want them to make smart choices and decisions. You want all these good things in life for them. You want them to be strong and independent.

As a parent, how do you help them do all these things? How do you teach them to make the right decisions? How do you help them when they make the wrong decisions? How do you make them see that some times some decisions have life long consequences? How do you do these things in a way that is effective when you really want to yell, scream and punish? What do you do when some times love just isn't enough?

I try to remember back to my own childhood and see if there are any answers or any life experiences that will help me deal with my young teenager. So far I haven't found any. Back then we all had a healthy fear of our parents. Today kids have no fear and some times no respect for parents or anyone else for that matter. And sometimes when parents try to enforce the rules of the family and house someone will try to step in and say you cant do that. But that is another story unto itself better left for another day.

As the parent of a wonderful, handsome, headstrong young teenager, my greatest fear is not being a good enough parent and role model. I fear that no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I guide, no matter how much I love him, I will some how fail him as a parent. Now that he is a teenager, what do I do now? How much do I let go of the apron strings? How many rules and boundaries do I set? If I continue to be strict will he rebel? How much do I pray?

I know there are no set answers. Every child is different. Every situation is different. So for now, I will continue to try hard to be the best mom I can be. Cry my tears in private and pray God never gets tired of hearing me pray. I will continue to set boundaries and limits. I will continue to guide, love and direct. If he thinks I'm too hard and too strict -- TOUGH!! My house.. My rules!!!

Maybe when he turns 20 he will see I wasn't as bad as he thought. Maybe just maybe he will still love me in the end!

40 the new 30???

If 40 is the new 30 then why the hell am I suddenly falling apart??

No one ever said we came with a guarantee or warranty, where would you go to get a refund or an exchange?? Your momma?? I can see it now…

ME: "Momma, there seems to be something wrong with my boobs they are sagging bad. My hair is falling out. My skin is terrible. My bones hurt. Do you still have the warranty papers?"

MOMMA: "Nope. I'm sorry but when they cut the umbilical cord that voided all warranties and guarantees!"

Just my dang luck. I always seem a day late and a dollar short! Never an umbrella on a rainy day. Always a day late for a good sale!

In the magazines they all say that brown is the new black and 40 is the new 30. I remember thinking that 40 was old! Now that I'm well into my 40s its not as old as I once thought. Let me state right here, before I get too tall on my soap box, that all in all I do love being this age! My 30s were wonderful… I had a new baby to love and watch grow. I got to see the world through his eyes. I got to explore places and things like never before. My life outside of being a mom was becoming a mess but I didn't notice. By the time I was ready to leave my 30s I took control of my life again and got most things back in order that had gotten out of control while I concentrated on being the best mom I knew how to be.

Now onto my soap box I jump….

I was never a girly girl. I come from a long line of hard working women. Not your typical June Cleaver's but naturally beautiful women all the same. Just plain Jane country gals who believed in wearing dresses to church, complete with girdle and hose. About the only make up was lipstick. I don't remember any other beauty lotion other than Oil of Olay and the occasional jar of cold cream. They were all blessed with good genes because they all looked younger than their true ages.

I knew that when women got older they got wrinkles and gray (or blue or pink) hair. My Maw (grandmother) even told me about the stray hairs women got on their chins. I knew that with age came hot flashes and irritability. I even knew there was some positives to getting older like no more periods and less hair on your legs to shave. WOOHOO!!

I have been battling gray hair since my mid 20s so that doesn't really bother me. As long as they make hair dye and my beautician never gossips no one will know just how gray I really am.

I try to remind myself that my aunt says wrinkles around the eyes are caused from smiling… not from squinting your eyes to read something that your arms can't get far enough away to read clearly.

What I wish someone had told me was... That there is a chance you will have more acne than when you were a teenager. That arthritis really does hurt. That it really is important to do those kegel exercises so that when you get old you can cough, sneeze and laugh without wetting yourself. That you can do the dainty lean so that its not as obvious as crossing your legs!! Age spots…enough said. That there is a reason old folks creak and groan.

I do realize that I may NEVER have the body I had when I was in my 20s. That I do have to take better care of myself now than I have in the past. That I am blessed to be able to wake up every morning and get out of bed on my own accord. There are some things I can change and others I can't. I do hope to look back on my 40s and realize it wasn't so bad after all.

OK so I am learning to adjust to this getting old mess, but I tell you one thing for sure….
"I don't like it one damn bit!!"

Did you pray for someone today?

When was the last time someone asked you to pray for them? Did you say yes, only to say one little quick prayer? Did you really pray a sincere prayer several times?

Often in our lives we get these request. Often it is our best intentions to really pray but only say a quick prayer and hope it was enough. Often we get upset when our prayers aren't answered in the way we prayed for. Sometimes that is what makes us not pray like we should. Have you ever wondered if praying really works? Of course you have... we all have. The answer is YES!

Rather you believe in praying or not is totally your business. I, myself, am a firm believer in prayers. I have seem what can happen when lots of prayers go up. I am also guilty of not praying like I should sometimes. There are times when my prayers are more like conversations with God. Then there are those times when I have those deep soul cleansing crying prayer. Those seem to occur when I am at my wits end and frustrated with myself, life or people. When I'm done I feel better because I have then turned it all over to God to let Him handle it. God wants us to turn over our concerns, worries and troubles to Him and trust in Him, let Him deal with it. That is the hardest thing for us to do. Yes we are all guilty of it.

So the next time someone ask you to pray for them or someone in their family take a second and ask yourself if you were in their position and in need of prayer wouldn't you want someone to pray for you? Sometimes we aren't sure how to pray for them or what to pray for. That is when you pray for God to provide whatever it is they need... He already knows. The same goes for you... He already knows your needs and concerns.

Let go.. Let God!!

If you are ever in need of prayer please feel free to ask.

Love and hugs..... Kathy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Edited to add my sisters comment... she makes some really good points!

I AM BLESSED by a Prayerful Sister! Amen!

It's so funny that you wrote about this because I just got through reading "Don't Bet Against Me" by Deanna Favre and it was such an inspiring book. It was so deeply moving. But in her book she speaks about prayer. We so easily get frustrated when God doesn't answer our prayers the way we want and in the timely manner that we want. So, yes, we stomp our feet, cross our arms, huff and puff...And just give up.

Too easily is it to forget....wait a minute. God answers all our prayers. It's not our choice to decide how He answers them. He sometimes says...YES! immediately. Then there are times that He says...Maybe! Give me some time to think about it. Then there are other times that He tenderly says No! Not at this time, that's not what I would have for you. He answers ALWAYS!
He knows all things and sometimes just as we tell our children no, because we know it's for the best, He tells us no. Why? Because the outcome sometimes isn't what they see and we already know. Why? Because they are our children. Just as we are God's children.

When I look at God answering prayers as answering to our children's wants and desires...I think WOW! I know why sometimes NO is the final answer! Sometimes it's devastating. But OH He is a Promising God. He never leaves us..just as we never leave our children. He loves us unconditionally, although I am sure there's often times He's thinking, "What in the world were they thinking?" or "I just don't know about that child!" or "This child is going to be the death of me?(hehehe)"

We as parents get frustrated but God instills in us Patience. And when used PROPERLY it truly does work. Then, like God, we are able to say, "I know they will make the right decision", or "That child is difficult, but Oh how I love him/her" or "This child means the world to me and I want what's best for him/her." So thinking of it that way I have completely learned to believe in God's love for His children and I have learned the true meaning of Faith.

I trust God with my life. He knows my needs and my desires and he distinguishes between the two for me. It's taken me quite some time to get to the point I am at in my life. I grow daily, and I have plenty room left to grow. But now, I see things the way God would have me see them. And boy it sure makes life so much richer.

I love what you wrote Kat, and it only reminds me of just how much alike we truly are. I am thankful for that. You have a HUGE heart! Big enough for all of us, and in that I find some of my richest blessings. I love you and I know you know just how much. Well written...Bravo to you!

Bless his pointy head...

Bless whose pointy head? My husband's!

Why??? Because I swear sometimes I think that man is going to drive me insane.

I'm still having some problems falling asleep at night. I have tried every thing short of taking medicine. I don't want to take medicine unless I absolutely have too. Which is why I started blogging. To help free some of the clutter out of my mind.

I know my husband has my best interest at heart and I know he loves me, BUT this man's cure for insomnia is to lay in bed till you fall asleep. I swear sometimes he must think I'm a dumb brunette and in need of his guidance. He sometimes thinks he has to tell me what I need to do and when to do it and how. Some days I let him stroke his ego (only because I'm too tired to argue) and then there are those times the hounds are unleashed. This is the same man that years ago I thought was cute as a button (I still think he is handsome), who made me laugh a lot (at a time I really did need to laugh) and at the time helped restore my faith that not all males were jackasses!

At times this man is the most stubborn hard-headed man I know. Throw in the fact that he only hears half of what I say. Selective hearing I think its called. I should have realized he was a stubborn hardheaded man who doesn't listen during our first conversation. Which I kid you not went exactly like this...

David - Hi I'm David. I work PR here. (huge grin)
Me - Hi David. I'm Kathy. (polite smile)
David - So Kathy, you married?
Me - No
David - You engaged?
Me - No
David - Got a boyfriend back home?
Me (a little annoyed at this point) - No
David (still grinning) - Good
Me (more annoyed) - Look David, I'm not interested. I left Mississippi to get away from guys for a while and start a new life. Don't you have some place else you need to be or work to be doing?
David (still grinning) - Yeah ... I will see you when I get back!
Strike 2!! Did he not just hear what I said??

Needless to say about 6 weeks after that first meeting I married him. Here it is nearly 21 years later and we haven't killed each other yet. We have experienced life's highs and lows. Each day brings new things to enjoy or deal with.

Marriages come in all styles. Some seem fairytale perfect. Some have more trials than triumphs. Some seem to fit like an old pair of leather gloves. But if you look closely at the gloves you will see fine cracks in the leather, worn spots, shiny spots and even a few dirty spots. All of this doesn't mean that the gloves aren't good anymore. In fact it just means they have with stood the test of time. They have seen their share of work, happy moments and survived the hard times.

No marriage is perfect. Marriage requires work. Marriage requires dedication. Marriage requires imagination. Marriage requires a sense of humor. Marriage requires LOTS of patience. Marriage requires love and friendship. Marriage also requires this from BOTH partners. When there is only one trying to keep it afloat it is very hard. Its very frustrating. Its very tiring. Sometimes it requires stepping back a bit and taking a look at the whole picture. Sometimes its not as bad as it seems. Sometimes it may take throwing a hissy-fit. Sometimes it may take a rolling pin. (just kidding) But you get the idea.

No our marriage isnt fairytale perfect... but like the old gloves its surviving. So yes bless his pointy head... he still loves me!!

A sad day...

Today was going along so well then sad news came.

My sister had a friend whom she went to school with murdered this summer. Husband reported her missing the day after she supposedly left home on foot. Her body was found in a shallow grave 100 days later about a mile from home. Husband has always been the prime suspect all along but the law enforcement in our home town took their time and apparently have built a strong case against him. He will be arrested and charged for her murder tomorrow. Oh don't worry he will not run because he sits in jail in a neighboring county. That all seems like it would be pretty good news huh... to know that the family will finally have some answers and that the person who caused this young mothers death will pay for their crime. The extra sad part about this is the couples two yr old was home during all of this and apparently was witness to this. I'm afraid there may be more sad news in days to come as all the evidence the law has against him is revealed.

Tonight in the news it was reported a man in South Alabama threw his four children ages 4 months to 3 yrs over a bridge into the waters below. How sad and tragic.

Then there is the guy in Florida that pour hot grease on a 17 month old then used a hair dryer to burn his skin off because he would not stop crying and whining. They need to pour hot boiling grease on him and then burn his skin off too and dare him to cry and whine.

My mind drifts back to what my sister asked me today.... How could someone do this to
someone they loved?? How?? Why?? Why did I even bother watching the news tonight?

Such sadness today. Now its time to kiss my child good night and give thanks for the good things today and pray for those who have dealt with such sadness today.

My love of music

Music has always been a major part of my life. Back when I was young we didn't have cable so there were only a few channels available on the tv. Wow does that statement make me feel really old. Anyways, I don't know who was the one responsible for my love of music but for as long as I can remember its been there.

When I was very young my parents bought an old antique piano with hopes I would learn to play. Took lessons but never really caught on to it. I do have two cousins that could play anything by ear. It was their God given talent. One still plays to this day the other never pursued it.... what a waste. I remember sitting and listening to Jackie play and would sit as long as she played. I can still see and hear her in my memory bank. One of these days I hope to hear her again.

Growing up we had all the necessities and not much luxuries so I was grateful for the clock radios we had to have. There was one in each room and even in the barn. Yes music seemed to help sooth the animals and make chores a little less chore-some. There was also little handheld radios that I carried everywhere. No mp3s back then and no earphones. Boom boxes were too expensive. So were the big stereo systems. Those were luxuries.

One of my fondest memories is listening to the radio in the car. I remember how momma, my brother and I would sing along to what ever was on the radio and sometimes hearing my brother say... "Can you sing to yourself?" ha ha NO I cant sing to myself and wasn't given a beautiful singing voice. As momma always said... I couldn't carry a tune with a water bucket on my head... but oh how I love to sing!

My love for music and my horrible singing voice was one of the first things I had to warn boyfriends about. If they could endure that... they must have really liked me or learned to tune me out!

Oh how I loved when my son was born and I could sing all the lullabies I knew. Bless his heart he didn't know his momma couldn't sing... he just smiled. Nowadays... well I think he has figured it out, but doesn't say too much about the sound. He does however comment ... "Momma do you know every song on the radio??" "Of course she does." is hubby's response. Its one area my son thinks I'm smart in. hahaha I love to catch them both off guard and sing a song in a funny way or change it somehow. BOTH will tell you my version of Elvis' Blue Christmas is much better than his!! And how they will never forget the first time they heard my version. I tell ya it sure turn Joshua's sour mood around quickly!! Oh how I hate that song.

Music can be a wonderful way to cure what ails ya. There is even harp music that some people swears helps them heal. Music can sooth the savage soul. It can lift the deepest spirits. It can get your rear in gear to exercise. It can help you celebrate. It can help you mourn. It can even help you feel closer to God. Music can help you express what your soul feels.

What music is your soul playing today???

Dare to be different

Ever feel like this?? You look just like every other normal person but on the inside you know you are different and sometimes it just feels good to let it show. The freedom to be the real you. To act goofy and silly and not have to worry what others think. To have up moments and down moments and not have to explain them. Oh to be like the owl in the picture.......... LOL

Me and my Momma

Kathryn Lenelle Lipe Cuevas

1941 - 1989

One of the last pictures of my Momma and Me.

My wedding October 1987

I am so much like my Momma that at times its pure scary. I look like her. I think like her. Same build (although shorter). Hate taking pills. Love a good joke. Hard working. Love for baking. So on and so forth.

I lost my Momma to cancer in 1989. She was only 47 and I was only 24. She bravely fought it to the end. I know she had to have been scared but she never let us know. In my eyes my Momma was the strongest, bravest, smartest woman I have ever known. She was... IS... my hero!

I had the perfect Mom. Although I know at times she may not have thought so. With us being so much alike we often butted heads. At times it seems I got my rear spanked or my mouth popped weekly. I do admit to being a mouthy child. Not the back talking kind but the lawyer kind. You know ... stating my case long after I was told to shut up. More times than not, I was punished for the acts of my brother than my own. The lawyer child would came out and I would talk fast trying to state my case. But I always knew my Momma loved me... Always.

She worked sometimes 7 to 7, 7 days a week to make ends meet. She always found ways to spend free time with us. If my brother or I needed some private time with her we would catch her in the tub and talk away. She never complained... she would give us her undivided attention, no matter how long it took. I could talk to my Momma about anything. No subject was off limits. I could ask any question and she would answer. Even after I moved away I could call her anytime, she was always there with an answer, a laugh or the reassurance I sought.

Like I said earlier, Momma and I are a lot alike. As I was in the kitchen last night preparing supper, I got to thinking about my Momma. It occurred to me that our lives have taken almost the same paths. We have experienced a lot of the same life dramas and traumas. I stood there wondering if what I am dealing with in my life is what she dealt with too. Then I knew there may be one thing my Momma and I may not have in common. I don't feel I am mentally as brave as she was. If I was, I wouldn't have allowed things to get the way they are in my life. Then I wondered... maybe some of the decisions she made in her life were made because she felt the same way and felt that they were the only way to fix it and get control of her life again. Once she made those decisions she lived with the consequences of those decisions and she did so bravely. I'm not that brave... yet. Will I ever be????

Oh how I wish I could talk to my Momma... I need some of her reassurance and a hug!!

Winters first visit...

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Winter has come to the south for a visit today. .
How long will it stay is anyones guess.
Im sure its a short visit and will return again for a longer stay.
The sun is causing the icy frost to come alive and give a sparkling show.
Oh how I long to crawl back in bed and enjoy the warmth it would provide.
But I must dress in warm clothes and brave the chilling winds.
No flip flops and shorts today my friend.

Joshua - from my baby to manchild

Wednesday, January 02, 2008


How did the child I gave birth to, what seems like only a couple of years ago, suddenly become the man-child he is today??? Where did the time go?

This morning I went into my sons room to give him his list of chores for the day, last minute instructions and tell him I loved him, then I saw it..........

HAIR UNDER HIS ARMS!!

Then I noticed the hair on his lip is darker!! What!!!!!!!! Oh my heavens.... what do I do now??? Am I totally ready for all of this?? Granted he passed me in height several months ago. His voice has been going through its changing stage for a couple of months now. He is out of little boy pants sizes and into the grown up pants. His feet are huge. His appetite is even healthier than before. He reminds me almost daily he is almost a teenager. His exploration in these new changes and finding his place in life has created a test of wills (his and mine). He was a strong willed child as a toddler. Then there was that phase of shyness when he entered school. Now the strong willed child has resurfaced.

Part of me wants to scream bring back that little child that nursed at my breast. Bring back that little child that relied on his mom for everything. Bring back that little child that loved to crawl up in my lap when he was unsure of things. Bring back that little child that used my hair as his security blanket. Bring back that little child what wasnt embarrassed to hold my hand. Bring back that little child that hugged and kissed me for no reason at all. Bring back that little child that wasnt too cool to say he loved me.

Lord help me to be the mom he needs me to be right now. Help me to help him grow and find his place in this world. Give me the strength I need to get through the really tough days. And Lord, please slow time down so I can squeeze as many memories as I can from his childhood. For it will be those memories that carry me through the days when he is grown and on his own.

What is your talent and purpose?

Have you ever wondered what your God given talent was or what your purpose in life was and how you were suppose to use it to better mankind?

There are those who have a musical talent, artistic talent, speaking talent, athletic talent and so worth. There are those who are naturals in the medical field, finance field, culinary field, electronics field, automotive field and so on. There are people who knew from an early age what they wanted to be when they grew up. There are those who stumbled into their talent/field by accident. There are those who are still searching for their talent and/or their purpose in life. Which is where I seem to fall.

Then I got to thinking... How does one find their purpose or what their talent is? Where does one look for ideas? Who do you ask? What if one has a talent or purpose they arent using for a greater good, does one lose it? Does everyone have one? What is my purpose and talent? What if my purpose is to scrub toilets for others and my talent is the gift of gab??? Oh my....

One thing is for sure... if you ask God...you better be ready for the answer!! There is no arguing back with him!

the brain is a funny thing...

The brain is a funny thing... well mine is.

Some days my brain seems to run ninety mile an hour with all kinds of creative ideas and projects. Some days it is filled with stress and worries. Some days it doesnt seem to wanna work at all (those are referred to as blond moments.) Some days it seems to have a hard time deciding what it wants to settle on and runs all over the place.

Today it was all over the place. If I hadnt been so busy with work and had sat down and wrote down everything I was thinking about it would have been several pages long. Those days can be confusing at times. So many things I want to do or get done. Some things that need further concentration or research. Some creative ideas bounced around in there too.

I love the creative ideas. I love the challenges they sometimes bring. I love figuring out how I can incorporate them in to my home or for others. I love to think of ways to accomplish them without spending too much money. Etc....

When I came home this afternoon I couldnt wait to write some of my ideas down before they were lost in the cluttered mass of my brain. I logged on to the internet for a quick check to see if my sister had sent a message that she arrived home safely since she didnt call. There waiting was a quote from a friend that said... " She lives only for the narcotic moment of creative bliss..." Well my brain read it too fast and wrong... I thought it said... "she lives only for the NEUROTIC moments of creative bliss..." I thought how funny to receive that quote today and had a good laugh over it. Then I read it again and couldnt decided which quote actually fit. LOL