Reflection

Have you ever been in the middle of a mundane chore and gotten so far into your own thoughts that you become oblivious to the things around you? I have on many occasions. Its when I seem to do my best thinking, planning, plotting and self discovery.

Today, as I was standing outside staining the boards that will soon become my new pergola, I began reflecting back on my morning and some of the things I had read on my face book page. On there is a quiz about me. Ten little simple questions with multiple choice answers. Well it seems no one, not even my son, has gotten the questions right. The last question is the one everyone misses. The question asked if I was at a party what would I most likely be doing. Everyone choose dancing. The answer I choose was cleaning. This got me to thinking... am I truly the person everyone seems to think I am?

Many years ago, I was quite the little social butterfly. My weeks were filled with work and friends. My weekends also revolved around work, dances and get-togethers with family or friends. Seems every weekend there was a benefit dance or someone would have a big blow out at their home with live music. I would dance enough in one weekend to burn a weeks worth of calories and managed to stay skinny.

Nowadays, I no longer see myself as the social butterfly. I see myself as a mom, wife and business owner. I see myself as a tired old lady. Work doesn't require nice groomed hair, make up and nice clothes... no no. You will usually find me in baggy t-shirts, shorts, flip flops and hair twisted up. (even in winter) If I should happen to wear make up one day it often brings on the third degree. No, the men in my life aren't happy with the simple answer of "I wanted to feel pretty today."

So I while I was doing my staining and self discovery today I got to thinking... why should I not want to feel pretty everyday? Why not put on mascara and lipstick everyday? Why not wear my best perfume everyday? Why not wear my pretty little CZ stud earrings everyday? Why should I always sit at home and become the old woman with the old man? Why not rekindle some old friendships and have a girls night out once or twice a month? Why not meet some girlfriends at the movies to watch sappy ole chick flicks?

Would this make me any less of a mother or wife? NO
Could I do this without feeling guilty? Maybe

We will find out this coming Tuesday... going to my first girls night out. I'm excited and looking forward to seeing an old friend and meeting new ones. Will I dance? Probably not but for a couple of hours I not be the tired old lady. I will not be the cleaning lady. I will be happy, alive and looking pretty!!

Exits stage left... singing Reflection (Mulan)

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight
Back at me?
Why is my reflection someone
I don't know?
Somehow I cannot hide
Who I am
Though I've tried
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

False accusations

I learned a long time ago to never pray for patience. You pray for understanding, tolerance or anything else but never patience. Recently my patience and tolerance has been tested like no other time in my life. It seems that no matter how far I try to distance myself from the situation it finds a way to come back. Leaving a deeper more painful gash on my heart mind and soul. It has left me wanting to scream ... "Enough already!!"

As all this drama unfolds, I find myself wondering why I stand so passively by and let it happen. If this was happening to my child, husband or any other family member I would have claws bared and ready to fight to the death. But this is happening to me. I don't fight back. I don't defend myself. I just stand there and let the words thrown at me do their damage. I hold my tongue and say nothing. I stand there like a little child eyes staring at the floor, like I'm guilty of the crimes I am so falsely being accused of. How can I prove my innocense? How can I clear my name? There really is no way, its ones word against anothers. So for now I will consider the source of the drama and continue to broaden the distance from the situation. I am too tired, too busy to waste any time, energy and worry over it.

I know I will get through all this in time. I pray that in the end the one person I care most about will know I was the same person in the end as I was in the beginning.

Questions and Answers

Have you ever had someone ask you a question and then they get pissed when you gave your answer?

I was faced with this recently and found myself trying to explain my answer when I really wanted to asked the person, "Why did you ask the question, if you didn't want my opinion? You didn't offer any multiply choice answers!!" Just because you receive an answer you don't like, it does not give you the right to verbally attack the person. You asked for and got their answer (opinion)... deal with it. Don't ask them to explain it over and over or blame them for speaking their opinion. You may just find yourself alone and/or without a trusted friend. That is what friends are for... to help us keep balance in our lives. To listen and help us deal with life situations as they come. Granted sometimes friends don't always agree with us but that does not mean they don't still love us or they don't care... they may just see things differently. Either way they are still your friend. Remember, they accepted you the way you were, you in turn should accept them the way they are.

So the moral of this story... don't ask the question if you really don't want to know the answer.

Burdens

There comes a time (or times) in life when you are faced with a situation that is or seems out of your control. It seems that no matter what you do you can not make it right or make it better. It is then we are suppose to give it over to a higher power... to one who is in control at all times.

We are taught in the Bible that if you turn your troubles over to God, He will handle them for you. Granted the outcome may not be what you had hoped for but He knows what we need, when and how we need it. Then there are those times when He says ok and life works out the way you had hoped and planned.

I have been faced with the 'handing over' more times than I care to mention. The hardest part with that is when you hand it over, you can not continue to take it back. You have to trust and believe God will handle it and take care of it. Trust me I know how hard that is, but all I need to do is look at my child and know without a doubt that when you hand things over to Him, He does miracles. For you see, I wanted a child, He gave me a child. When my child was born and had to have surgery the very next day, I prayed and told God,"ok You gave me a beautiful child and now I give him back to you to heal him. He is your child too." I was told that he would be in NICU for at least a month. I continued to pray and trust everyday. I was able to bring my baby home in 6 days. So don't tell me that God isn't good and He doesn't hear prayers.

Yesterday and today I am faced yet again with a new struggle in my life. I will again lay my burdens at His feet and surrender it all to Him and say... "ok its in your hands, I cant handle it." My biggest battle will be to not pick that burden back up and worry over it.

No, I'm not the perfect christian, God will tell you I struggle in my faith everyday, but he is a loving and forgiving God. I trust, I believe, I know that with God all things are possible. He is my anchor and my life raft in these stormy troubled days.

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UPDATE

Today is June 9, 2009 and I as I read back over this posting I can't even remember what was troubling me so. Apparently God took care of it and I am no longer struggling with it. Yes God is good!!

Wonderful, glorious Spring!!

Its that time of year again... wonderful, glorious SPRING!

Yes its that time of the year when we come out of hibernation and begin to feel that little spring in our step once again. The time of year when every vehicle is the same color... neon lime!! The time of year when flowers are blooming and trees are putting on new growth and leaves. The time of year men begin pruning and manicuring the lawns and women are planting flowers. The time of year to plant vegetable gardens for summer harvest. Yes spring is truly a magical time of year. It is a renewing of all things. Gone are the dull dreary days of winter. So will someone tell me why we are having low 30 temperatures at night here in the deep south in APRIL???

Spring is the time of year for Easter. When we are reminded of the sacrifice that was made for our sins to be forgiven. For it was Jesus who was crucified and died on the cross for us. It was He that arose from the dead to join His Father in Heaven that gives us hope and continues to renew our faith that we too will join Him in Heaven when our time comes. Oh how beautiful Heaven will be (compared to times we are living in now.)

Easter is also a time for children. With new Easter frocks and bonnets for the girls and new duds or suits for the boys. The Easter baskets filled with lots of goodies and surprises. Families gather together for a huge meal and the egg hunt after wards. Yes Spring is a wonderful, glorious time of year.

I do miss dying eggs each year. My son was never into the dying part, just the hunting part. It was just easier to hide the plastic eggs with goodies inside since we always had to hide them several times. That way there were no smelly smells a week later. I miss the huge jar of pickled eggs we would have for months after. I miss the 6 pack of Barq's root beer bottles and the bag of mini snicker bars we each got when we were teenagers. There was one year instead of baskets we got beer flats filled with goodies. Hey, don't laugh... they held more than baskets did. Oh I miss the good ole days.

I thought I would share with you a secret I discovered not too long ago for perfectly boiled eggs. The yolks will be bright yellow and not have the grey color on the outside of the yolk that occurs when they have been over cooked. The shell will not be cracked. Perfect I tell ya.

May your Spring be filled with lots of color and not sniffles. May your Easter be blessed with love, laughter, hope and renewed faith. Remember.... He arose! He lives!!


Perfect Boiled Eggs
Ingredients:
Eggs and water

Instructions:
Place eggs in stainless steel pot, do not stack.
Cover with cold water to where eggs are just immersed.
Cook to boiling, immediately remove and cover with lid; let stand 20 minutes.
Voila, the perfect boiled egg.
Be sure to plunge in cold water after the 20 minutes is up to stop the cooking process.

Rules of the Clothesline

Yes there are rules to properly hanging clothes on a line. With the way things are going nowadays, you may see more and more clotheslines popping up. My family currently hangs most of ours on hangers and then on the porch in order to conserve as much electricity as we can. I do, however, miss the way clothes, fresh from the line, would smell. Living in the city they don't smell as fresh as they do in the country.

Back in the days of my youth, we didn't own a dryer. Dryers were usually owned by the richer folks. It seemed laundry was always my chore. It was done once a week, weekly. There was no allowance for doing chores. It was just part of your job in the family. You were never reminded what chores needed to be done or when they were to be done... you just knew. If you didn't get your chores done there was consequences to be paid. Basically you got your tail tore up. Rain and/or near death illness was the only excuse(s) you could use for not doing chores. They were there waiting for you when the rain stopped and you were feeling better.

Odd as it may seem, I never minded doing the laundry. Doing the dishes was another story (and still is, hehe). Growing up, we had a huge clothesline with four lines and a post in the middle. Each line was used for certain things and in a certain order. Each person had their own line. Pants first, button up shirts, pull overs, tee shirts, underclothes then socks. Towels were hung longest to the shortest. Sheets were always pre-folded inside before putting on the line so you wouldn't get grass or dirt on them. When you unloaded the washer, you sorted the clothes before putting into the basket and you always "popped" the clothes to shake out as many wrinkles as you could before putting them on the line. I know you may think this all seems like a lot of work, well not really because in the end it saved you a lot of work and made putting clothes away so much easier. If it was done properly you didn't have to iron any clothes!! I always took hangers to the line and hung the hanging clothes right off the line. Oh if for some reason, the clothes got rained on you had to rewash them because they would smell sour if you wore them. Same way if they hung out overnight.

So in case you were lucky to grow up not having to hang clothes on the line, here are the rules you will need to know should you find yourself having to conserve money and electricity.



THE BASIC RULES FOR CLOTHESLINES:

1. You had to wash the clothes line before hanging any clothes - walk the entire lengths of each line with a damp cloth around the lines.

2. You had to hang the clothes in a certain order, and always hang "whites" with "whites," and hang them first.

3. You never hung a shirt by the shoulders - always by the tail! What would the neighbors think?

4. Wash day on a Monday! Never hang clothes on the weekend, or Sunday, for Heaven's sake!

5. Hang the sheets and towels on the outside lines so you could hide your "unmentionables" in the middle (perverts & busybodies, y'know!)

6. It didn't matter if it was sub zero weather - clothes would "freeze-dry."

7. Always gather the clothes pins when taking down dry clothes! Pins left on the lines were "tacky!"

8. If you were efficient, you would line the clothes up so that each item did not need two clothes pins, but shared one of the clothes pins with the next washed item.

9. Clothes off of the line before dinner time, neatly folded in the clothes basket, and ready to be ironed.

10. IRONED?! Well, that's a whole other subject!


A poem for those who were raised with a clothesline.

A clothesline was a news forecast
To neighbors passing by.
There were no secrets you could keep
When clothes were hung to dry.

It also was a friendly link
For neighbors always knew
If company had stopped on by
To spend a night or two.

For then you'd see the "fancy sheets"
And towels upon the line;
You'd see the "company table cloths"
With intricate designs.

The line announced a baby's birth
From folks who lived inside -
As brand new infant clothes were hung,
So carefully with pride!

The ages of the children could
So readily be known
By watching how the sizes changed,
You'd know how much they'd grown!

It also told when illness struck,
As extra sheets were hung;
Then nightclothes, and a bathrobe, too,
Haphazardly were strung.

It also said, "Gone on vacation now"
When lines hung limp and bare.
It told, "We're back!" when full lines sagged
With not an inch to spare!

New folks in town were scorned upon
If wash was dingy and gray,
As neighbors carefully raised their brows,
And looked the other way . . .

But clotheslines now are of the past,
For dryers make work much less.
Now what goes on inside a home
Is anybody's guess!

I really miss that way of life.
It was a friendly sign
When neighbors knew each other best
By what hung on the line!

It ain't over till the fat lady gets revenge

When you work in retail or in any occupation that requires you to deal with the public it can be very trying at times. I also know that it takes a lot of self composure to keep your mouth in check when you really just want to tell them where to go. Yes, for the most part, people are nice and easy to deal with but then there are those that no matter how hard you try you can’t please them. But what happens when its management that rubs the public the wrong way??

When you are hired as the manager of a company, you are the one who is in charge of the store, the employees and dealing with problems that may arise. You should know how to talk to people. Even if a person ask you a question you may think is petty, it may not be petty to them.

Case in point…

I went shopping at Lane Bryant with my sister. She wanted to buy a new pair of jeans. Normally they have their jeans marked down after Christmas. When we didn’t see a sign announcing a sale we asked what we thought was a clerk about it. She proceeded ask us if we had received an email about their sales. My sister told her she had recently moved and really hadn’t had the chance to check her email lately. The lady then told us, in her snooty attitude voice, that they quit having sales and basically only advertised them for their REGULAR customers. I looked at my sister and said, “Wow that sure sounded like I am not welcomed in this store since I’m not a regular customer!”

The more I walked around in the store the madder I got. Who was this lady to say that to me? I asked another clerk who the lady was with the short blond hair and attitude. Lo and behold … she was the MANAGER!! Oh how my temper shot up. I was madder than an old wet hen. But to keep from embarrassing my sister I held my tongue. I refused to let her snooty attitude rub off on me. I went about the store helping my sister with her shopping and even helped another customer pair up a couple of outfits and gave my opinion on how they looked. I even managed to continue to hold my tongue when the manager asked if we were able to find the jeans we wanted.

All in all it was a good shopping trip for my sister. I am still silently fuming from the experience. I do, however, have the number and address for the Lane Bryant Company and I fully intend to make a call and write a letter to file a complaint on Ms June, manager of the Cordova Mall store in Pensacola, Florida and send her a copy. It may not solve anything but it may just make me feel a little better.

Oh and another thing… Why would they hire a skinny person to manage a store for plus size clothing in the first place!?!?!

My love affair with Maple Nut Fudge

Tis the time of year to commence the frenzy of holiday cooking and baking. If you knew me you wouldn't believe how far behind I am on all my baking. There just hasn't been enough free time this year to get it all done.

As if I didn't feel the pressure of getting it all done enough already, I decided to try a new recipe. Yep call me crazy!! Oh my word was this recipe ever good!! I just had to share it with all of you. All the credit goes to Ms. Bakinbaby over at recipezaar.com!


May your christmas be the best one yet!
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Maple Nut Fudge

Ingredients
2 tablespoons butter (unsalted)
2/3 cup evaporated milk
3/4 cup brown sugar
3/4 cup white sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 cups miniature marshmallows
1 (12 ounce) package white chocolate chips
1/2 cup walnuts(chopped)
1 TBSP maple extract
walnuts (halves )

Directions
Line 9x13 pan with foil. (I just sprayed with Pam)
Combine butter, evaporated milk, sugars & salt in a medium heavy-duty saucepan.
Bring to a full rolling boil, stirring constantly, over medium heat, cook for 8-9 minutes, remove from heat.
Stir in marshmallows, chips, nuts and maple flavoring, stir vigorously for 1 minute or until marshmallows are melted.
Pour into prepared pan, on top of fudge, place nut halves in rows spacing bout 1/2" apart, press into fudge.
Refrigerate until firm, cut into squares with 1 nut per piece.

Awakening

Lately, I have been trudging along, walking through the days like a zombie. Not understanding why I just didn't care if Christmas came or not. People this is sooooooo NOT like me!! I am usually ready to put decorations up BEFORE thanksgiving! I am usually in the kitchen baking and preparing goodies daily beginning December 1st. This year I just can't seem to make myself do it. I could have cared less about putting up a tree. I could have cared less about decorating the house.

I get up every morning put on the best happy face I can conjure up. Get through the day. I go to bed at night with my mind telling me all the things I could have done that day but didn't.

I hate having the blahs! Apparently I'm not the only one having them this year. Several other people I know, who are normally happy go lucky people, like myself, are experiencing the same thing.

I wonder what the root cause of it all is. Could it be all the negative news we have heard over the past year about the economy, the environment, election, etc... ? Could it be the stresses of the unknown future of everything?

Where does this end? Where does one find hope in such uncertain times? How does one explain to their little ones that Santa may not bring all they were hoping for this year? How does one find the excitement of family reunions the holiday brings when they cant afford to travel home this year? Oh this list can go on and on, but you get the jest of it.

This morning, I awoke with my mind filled with all sorts of things... mainly things I really couldn't find the joy in doing. With a deep sigh, I forced myself out of bed, trying to muster all the will I had to just face the day. I did ignore the voice I heard in my head screaming "Go back to bed!!" Yea! One thing accomplished today!

I sat at my computer to check my emails. One email revealed one of my most favorite bloggers had posted a new blog(Thank you Maven!). Deciding that I would take a few minutes to catch up on her postings I grabbed a cup a coffee and got comfortable.

Then there it was... a copy of a poem a friend had sent her.

As I read it, it made perfect sense to me. It was an AHA moment. It was like 10,000 light bulbs going off. I felt so relaxed and peaceful. I forgot about the stresses of the day that laid ahead, if only for a few minutes. I quickly printed this poem. I wondered... will my awakening begin today? Maybe my awakening has been in the making for a long time and I just didn't realize it. Either way, this is a nice and comforting way to start the day. To stand in the mirror and said... Its going to be OK. I'm going to be OK.

If you look at your life in sections it may not make sense to you or anyone else, but if you stand back and look at your life as a whole piece maybe, just maybe you will see its not so bad after all.

Merry Christmas Ya'll !!
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The Awakening
By Sonny Carroll

There comes a time in your life when you finally get it... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world from a new perspective. This is your awakening.

You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something, or someone, to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after " must begin with you. Then a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

So you begin making your way through the "reality of today" rather than holding out for the "promise of tomorrow." You realize that much of who you are, and the way you navigate through life is, in great part, a result of all the social conditioning you've received over the course of a lifetime. And you begin to sift through all the nonsense you were taught about:
- how you should look and how much you should weigh
- what you should wear and where you should shop
- where you should live or what type of car you should drive
- who you should sleep with and how you should behave
- who you should marry and why you should stay
- the importance of having children or what you owe your family

Slowly you begin to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really believe in. And you begin to discard the doctrines you have outgrown, or should never have practiced to begin with.

You accept the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK... they are entitled to their own views and opinions. And, you come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a "perfect 10" or a perfect human being for that matter. So you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head or agonizing over how you compare. And you take a long look at yourself in the mirror and you make a promise to give yourself the same unconditional love and support you give so freely to others. Then a sense of confidence is born of self-approval.

And, you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" hungry for your next fix, a new dress, another pair of shoes or looks of approval and admiration from family, friends or even strangers who pass by. Then you discover that it is truly in giving that we receive and that the joy and abundance you seek grows out of the giving. And you recognize the importance of "creating" & "contributing" rather than "obtaining " & "accumulating."

And you give thanks for the simple things you've been blessed with; things that millions of people upon the face of the earth can only dream about a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed and the freedom to pursue your own dreams.

And then you begin to love and to care for yourself. You stop engaging in self-destructive behaviors including participating in dysfunctional relationships. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and exercising. And because you've learned that fatigue drains the spirit and creates doubt and fear, you give yourself permission to rest. And just as food is fuel for the body, laughter is fuel for the spirit and so you make it a point to create time for play.

Then you learn about love and relationships, how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. And you allow only the hands of a lover who truly loves and respects you to glorify you with his touch. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say, intentionally or unintentionally and that not everyone will always come through and interestingly enough, it's not always about you. So, you stop lashing out and pointing fingers or looking to place blame for the things that were done to you or weren't done for you. And you learn to keep your Ego in check and to acknowledge and redirect the destructive emotions it spawns; anger, jealousy and resentment.

You learn how to say I was wrong and to forgive people for their own human frailties. You learn to build bridges instead of walls and about the healing power of love as it is expressed through a kind word, a warm smile or a friendly gesture. And, at the same time, you eliminate any relationships that are hurtful or fail to uplift and edify you. You stop working so hard at smoothing things over and setting your needs aside. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want or expect certain things. And you learn the importance of communicating your needs with confidence and grace. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that eventually martyrs are burned at the stake. Then you learn to distinguish between guilt, and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that you don't know all the answers, it's not your job to save the world and that sometimes you just need to Let Go.

Moreover, you learn to look at people as they really are and not as you would want them to be, and you are careful not to project your neediness or insecurities onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be, more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and relationships and that that not everyone can always love you the way you would want them to. So you stop appraising your worth by the measure of love you are given. And suddenly you realize that it's wrong to demand that someone live their life or sacrifice their dreams just to serve your needs, ease your insecurities, or meet "your " standards and expectations. You learn that the only love worth giving and receiving is the love that is given freely without conditions or limitations. And you learn what it means to love. So you stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that "alone" does not mean "lonely" and you begin to discover the joy of spending time "with yourself" and "on yourself." Then you discover the greatest and most fulfilling love you will ever know. Self Love. And so, it comes to pass that through understanding your heart heals; and now all new things are possible.

Moving along, you begin to avoid Toxic people and conversations. And you stop wasting time and energy rehashing your situation with family and friends. You learn that talk doesn't change things and that unrequited wishes can only serve to keep you trapped in the past. So, you stop lamenting over what could or should have been and you make a decision to leave the past behind. Then you begin to invest your time and energy to affect positive change. You take a personal inventory of all your strengths and weaknesses and the areas you need to improve in order to move ahead. You set your goals and map out a plan of action to see things through.

You learn that life isn't always fair and you don't always get what you think you deserve and you stop personalizing every loss or disappointment. You learn to accept that sometimes bad things happen to good people and that these things are not an act of God... but merely a random act of fate.

And you stop looking for guarantees because you've learned that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected and that whatever happens, you'll learn to deal with it. And you learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time FEAR itself. So you learn to step right into and through your fears because to give into fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. You learn that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophesy and you learn to go after what you want and not to squander your life living under a cloud of indecision or feelings of impending doom.

Then, YOU LEARN ABOUT MONEY... the personal power and independence it brings and the options it creates. And you recognize the necessity to create your own personal wealth. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. Then a sense of power is born of self-reliance. And you live with honor and integrity because you know that these principles are not the outdated ideals of a by-gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build your life. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful opportunity and exciting possibility. Then you hang a wind chime outside your window to remind yourself what beauty there is in Simplicity.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you FAKE a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

A word about the Power of Prayer: In some of my darkest, most painful and frightening hours, I have prayed not for the answers to my prayers or for material things but for my "God" to help me find the strength, confidence and courage to persevere; to face each day and to do what I must do.


Remember this: "You are an expression of the almighty. The spirit of God resides within you and moves through you. Open your heart, speak to that spirit and it will heal and empower you." My God has never failed me.

Hurricanes in the South

Oh the lovely joys of living on the gulf coast in the summer time. We southern souls brave not only love bugs, mosquitoes, gnats, alligators and extreme humidity, we also brave the savage winds, rains and destruction of hurricanes.

It use to be that hurricanes were just part of living in such a wonderful beautiful place. The weather people warned you they were coming and you did the necessary things to prepare like putting gas in vehicles, buying a few extra groceries, taping or boarding up windows and hunkering down till it passed. Nowadays hurricanes cause great panic and tend to bring out the stupid in some people. The mere mention of the words hurricane and gulf in the same sentence at 8am will cause a shortage of gas and groceries by 6pm in Pensacola. Hurricane season starts the same day every year, but people ALWAYS wait till last minutes and there is one baring down on them to buy supplies. It's mass confusion and stupidity I tell ya!!

It is a given fact that once a hurricane is in the Gulf of Mexico it has to hit land somewhere. There is no other way out. Each and every hurricane is different from the others in the past. No two are alike. As with every hurricane, you will have those hard-headed stubborn people that will stay behind to protect what they have. They have ridden out so many before, what's one more. If you have ever been in evacuation traffic you can understand why some refuse to leave. The best you can do is pray for them and try to not judge them for being hard-headed and stubborn. Yes, I am guilty of being one of the stupid, stubborn, hard-headed people living along the gulf coast during hurricane season. It's a lot easier to prepare for a hurricane than it is for a tornado or earthquake that give very little warning, if any at all, before they hit.

At the time of this writing, Hurricane Ike has just devastated the northeastern coast of Texas. The reports are still coming in. I am grateful my family living there are all safe. One's house is ok, but the other three are under several feet of water. Life is forever changed for them.

But there was good news in the wake of Ike: A stranded freighter with 22 men aboard made it through the storm safely, and a tugboat was on the way to save them.

And an evacuee from Calhoun County gave birth to a girl in the restroom of a shelter with the aid of an expert in geriatric psychiatry who delivered his first baby in two decades. She named the baby Katrina.

In Surfside Beach, retired carpenter and former Marine Ray Wilkinson became something of a celebrity for a day: He was the lone resident in the town of 805 to defy the order to leave. Authorities found him Saturday morning, drunk. "I consider myself to be stupid," Wilkinson, 67, said through a thick, tobacco-stained beard. "I'm just tired of running from these things. If it's going to get you, it's going to get you." He added: "I didn't say I had all my marbles, OK?"

Hurricane season 2008 is far from over. We still have several more weeks left. Please continue to pray for those who have been affected by hurricanes this year and in most recent years.

What else is there to do at 5:45am??

The other day I had received an inspiring text message from a friend, not having much spare time then to forward it on I decided to wait. I finally found time at 5:45 this morning. Hey I was already awake since my vacationing son forgot that NC was an hour ahead of us when he called.

Back to the text message, it was one of those that reminds us to love the people who treat us right and forget the ones who don't. That friends can be like balloons once you let go you can't get them back. To contact family and friends and let them know you care. So forth and so on...

Imagine my surprise when I immediately got 2 responses. Who the heck is up that early anyways, besides my husband and the cats?? One response was from my 10 yr old cousin who is an early riser but not that early. The other was in form of a phone call from an old friend who didn't recognize the phone number. It was a funny conversation because I could tell he was caught completely off guard. He was not expecting a long lost friend he hadn't seen in at least 4 yrs to suddenly send him a text out of the clear blue. It was a good quick catching up call.

Often times in this fast pace life we live, we forget to stay in contact with those who mean the most to us. That was the whole point in that text message. Granted maybe not at 5:45 am but hey what a way to start the day!!!

Fighting the fight

Sometimes in life we are often faced with situations that seem to hit us all at once. Sometimes its like you wake up one morning and realize your life is completely different. You are sitting there wondering 'What the hell happened? How did things get this way?' Sometimes a situation will be thrown at us that we are not prepared for and knock the wind completely out of our sails.

It is those situations that can often make or break a person. How you handle then is up to you. You can choose to ignore them and go on. You can choose to pull the covers over your head and wallow in self pity. But yet a brave few will decide to put on their fighting armour and face their demons head on. They know its a make or break fight and they chose to not go down without a gallant fight. Sometimes they start out alone in their fight and sometimes they have to call in the troops for help. Either way they fight the fight... win, lose or draw... they give it their all.

It is at the end of their battle, they mend their wounds and survey the damage. They once again will find themselves at another crossroads in their lives. Which path do they choose now. One path will lead down a road of endless twist and curves with no real destination in life. The other road will lead to true life long happiness. There are no guarantees that the road is smoothly paved, but the journey will be worth it.

God promises us that with Him all things are possible and that if we believe in Him and trust in Him, He will never fail us. We win our toughest battles when we put on the armour of God and let Him lead the way.

May the situations you face in your life be few and far between. But if tough ones come along, remember... be brave and put on your Godly armour!

When someone you love is hurting...

What do you do when someone you love is hurting so bad and there is nothing you can you to ease their pain?

What do you do when no earthly advise will surfice?

What do you do when they look at you with tear filled eyes and a breaking heart?

What you do is offer a listening ear, a strong shoulder for crying, and a warm hug. You also tell them that you love them no matter what!!

OH and you also say a prayer of thanks to God for sending them good friends to be help when you cant.

Teenagers

Being a teenager is hard. Being the mom of a teenager is even harder.

As a teenager, growing up in rural Mississippi in the late 70s and early 80s, life was easy and uncomplicated. Life was carefree. Being in the country, there wasn't a whole lot to do. We had to create our own fun. We were able to stay outside with acres and acres to explore and play on. We all had chores and would help the others with their chores so the rest of the day was ours. The only real danger was falling out of trees and maybe a snake or two. We would walk miles along the side of the road to collect returnable bottles for change so we could buy a cold root beer on a hot summer day. As children and teens, we stayed busy. There was no laying around watching TV.

Today living in the big city, life for teens is not easy and is complicated. Its not the carefree times it use to be. With both parents working, kids stay home alone more often than not. Lots of idle time. Told to stay inside where they are safe, because it is not longer safe to play outside for fear of someone harming them.

But are they really safe? Are you really protecting them? Are you really shielding them from all dangers in the world? Those questions can have dual answers. Unfortunately, for some the answer is no. No matter how hard you try to protect them some times the ones you pray you can trust are the very ones who will lead your precious babies astray. Lots of peer pressure.

I have heard all my life kids will be kids and boys will be boys. As a parent, you want your children to grow, explore and experience life. You want the best for them. You want them to be the best they can be. You want them to be successful in school and in life. You want them to make smart choices and decisions. You want all these good things in life for them. You want them to be strong and independent.

As a parent, how do you help them do all these things? How do you teach them to make the right decisions? How do you help them when they make the wrong decisions? How do you make them see that some times some decisions have life long consequences? How do you do these things in a way that is effective when you really want to yell, scream and punish? What do you do when some times love just isn't enough?

I try to remember back to my own childhood and see if there are any answers or any life experiences that will help me deal with my young teenager. So far I haven't found any. Back then we all had a healthy fear of our parents. Today kids have no fear and some times no respect for parents or anyone else for that matter. And sometimes when parents try to enforce the rules of the family and house someone will try to step in and say you cant do that. But that is another story unto itself better left for another day.

As the parent of a wonderful, handsome, headstrong young teenager, my greatest fear is not being a good enough parent and role model. I fear that no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I guide, no matter how much I love him, I will some how fail him as a parent. Now that he is a teenager, what do I do now? How much do I let go of the apron strings? How many rules and boundaries do I set? If I continue to be strict will he rebel? How much do I pray?

I know there are no set answers. Every child is different. Every situation is different. So for now, I will continue to try hard to be the best mom I can be. Cry my tears in private and pray God never gets tired of hearing me pray. I will continue to set boundaries and limits. I will continue to guide, love and direct. If he thinks I'm too hard and too strict -- TOUGH!! My house.. My rules!!!

Maybe when he turns 20 he will see I wasn't as bad as he thought. Maybe just maybe he will still love me in the end!

40 the new 30???

If 40 is the new 30 then why the hell am I suddenly falling apart??

No one ever said we came with a guarantee or warranty, where would you go to get a refund or an exchange?? Your momma?? I can see it now…

ME: "Momma, there seems to be something wrong with my boobs they are sagging bad. My hair is falling out. My skin is terrible. My bones hurt. Do you still have the warranty papers?"

MOMMA: "Nope. I'm sorry but when they cut the umbilical cord that voided all warranties and guarantees!"

Just my dang luck. I always seem a day late and a dollar short! Never an umbrella on a rainy day. Always a day late for a good sale!

In the magazines they all say that brown is the new black and 40 is the new 30. I remember thinking that 40 was old! Now that I'm well into my 40s its not as old as I once thought. Let me state right here, before I get too tall on my soap box, that all in all I do love being this age! My 30s were wonderful… I had a new baby to love and watch grow. I got to see the world through his eyes. I got to explore places and things like never before. My life outside of being a mom was becoming a mess but I didn't notice. By the time I was ready to leave my 30s I took control of my life again and got most things back in order that had gotten out of control while I concentrated on being the best mom I knew how to be.

Now onto my soap box I jump….

I was never a girly girl. I come from a long line of hard working women. Not your typical June Cleaver's but naturally beautiful women all the same. Just plain Jane country gals who believed in wearing dresses to church, complete with girdle and hose. About the only make up was lipstick. I don't remember any other beauty lotion other than Oil of Olay and the occasional jar of cold cream. They were all blessed with good genes because they all looked younger than their true ages.

I knew that when women got older they got wrinkles and gray (or blue or pink) hair. My Maw (grandmother) even told me about the stray hairs women got on their chins. I knew that with age came hot flashes and irritability. I even knew there was some positives to getting older like no more periods and less hair on your legs to shave. WOOHOO!!

I have been battling gray hair since my mid 20s so that doesn't really bother me. As long as they make hair dye and my beautician never gossips no one will know just how gray I really am.

I try to remind myself that my aunt says wrinkles around the eyes are caused from smiling… not from squinting your eyes to read something that your arms can't get far enough away to read clearly.

What I wish someone had told me was... That there is a chance you will have more acne than when you were a teenager. That arthritis really does hurt. That it really is important to do those kegel exercises so that when you get old you can cough, sneeze and laugh without wetting yourself. That you can do the dainty lean so that its not as obvious as crossing your legs!! Age spots…enough said. That there is a reason old folks creak and groan.

I do realize that I may NEVER have the body I had when I was in my 20s. That I do have to take better care of myself now than I have in the past. That I am blessed to be able to wake up every morning and get out of bed on my own accord. There are some things I can change and others I can't. I do hope to look back on my 40s and realize it wasn't so bad after all.

OK so I am learning to adjust to this getting old mess, but I tell you one thing for sure….
"I don't like it one damn bit!!"