Teenagers

Being a teenager is hard. Being the mom of a teenager is even harder.

As a teenager, growing up in rural Mississippi in the late 70s and early 80s, life was easy and uncomplicated. Life was carefree. Being in the country, there wasn't a whole lot to do. We had to create our own fun. We were able to stay outside with acres and acres to explore and play on. We all had chores and would help the others with their chores so the rest of the day was ours. The only real danger was falling out of trees and maybe a snake or two. We would walk miles along the side of the road to collect returnable bottles for change so we could buy a cold root beer on a hot summer day. As children and teens, we stayed busy. There was no laying around watching TV.

Today living in the big city, life for teens is not easy and is complicated. Its not the carefree times it use to be. With both parents working, kids stay home alone more often than not. Lots of idle time. Told to stay inside where they are safe, because it is not longer safe to play outside for fear of someone harming them.

But are they really safe? Are you really protecting them? Are you really shielding them from all dangers in the world? Those questions can have dual answers. Unfortunately, for some the answer is no. No matter how hard you try to protect them some times the ones you pray you can trust are the very ones who will lead your precious babies astray. Lots of peer pressure.

I have heard all my life kids will be kids and boys will be boys. As a parent, you want your children to grow, explore and experience life. You want the best for them. You want them to be the best they can be. You want them to be successful in school and in life. You want them to make smart choices and decisions. You want all these good things in life for them. You want them to be strong and independent.

As a parent, how do you help them do all these things? How do you teach them to make the right decisions? How do you help them when they make the wrong decisions? How do you make them see that some times some decisions have life long consequences? How do you do these things in a way that is effective when you really want to yell, scream and punish? What do you do when some times love just isn't enough?

I try to remember back to my own childhood and see if there are any answers or any life experiences that will help me deal with my young teenager. So far I haven't found any. Back then we all had a healthy fear of our parents. Today kids have no fear and some times no respect for parents or anyone else for that matter. And sometimes when parents try to enforce the rules of the family and house someone will try to step in and say you cant do that. But that is another story unto itself better left for another day.

As the parent of a wonderful, handsome, headstrong young teenager, my greatest fear is not being a good enough parent and role model. I fear that no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I guide, no matter how much I love him, I will some how fail him as a parent. Now that he is a teenager, what do I do now? How much do I let go of the apron strings? How many rules and boundaries do I set? If I continue to be strict will he rebel? How much do I pray?

I know there are no set answers. Every child is different. Every situation is different. So for now, I will continue to try hard to be the best mom I can be. Cry my tears in private and pray God never gets tired of hearing me pray. I will continue to set boundaries and limits. I will continue to guide, love and direct. If he thinks I'm too hard and too strict -- TOUGH!! My house.. My rules!!!

Maybe when he turns 20 he will see I wasn't as bad as he thought. Maybe just maybe he will still love me in the end!