How did the child I gave birth to, what seems like only a couple of years ago, suddenly become the man-child he is today??? Where did the time go?
This morning I went into my sons room to give him his list of chores for the day, last minute instructions and tell him I loved him, then I saw it..........
HAIR UNDER HIS ARMS!!
Then I noticed the hair on his lip is darker!! What!!!!!!!! Oh my heavens.... what do I do now??? Am I totally ready for all of this?? Granted he passed me in height several months ago. His voice has been going through its changing stage for a couple of months now. He is out of little boy pants sizes and into the grown up pants. His feet are huge. His appetite is even healthier than before. He reminds me almost daily he is almost a teenager. His exploration in these new changes and finding his place in life has created a test of wills (his and mine). He was a strong willed child as a toddler. Then there was that phase of shyness when he entered school. Now the strong willed child has resurfaced.
Part of me wants to scream bring back that little child that nursed at my breast. Bring back that little child that relied on his mom for everything. Bring back that little child that loved to crawl up in my lap when he was unsure of things. Bring back that little child that used my hair as his security blanket. Bring back that little child what wasnt embarrassed to hold my hand. Bring back that little child that hugged and kissed me for no reason at all. Bring back that little child that wasnt too cool to say he loved me.
Lord help me to be the mom he needs me to be right now. Help me to help him grow and find his place in this world. Give me the strength I need to get through the really tough days. And Lord, please slow time down so I can squeeze as many memories as I can from his childhood. For it will be those memories that carry me through the days when he is grown and on his own.
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